10 Jun The Psychology Of Confidence And How To Build It
Let’s face it! There are those times we want to do something but tend to hold back for the fear of the unknown. We have at times heard those little whispers telling us it’s not possible. Confident people make those around them feel at ease and they are also able to make good first impressions. In this article, I’ll discuss the psychology of confidence and tips to build it.
But first, let’s get to know what confidence is.
What is Confidence?
Confidence is belief in oneself and the willingness to take action even when the situation seems challenging. This also means the ability to manage emotions such as fear that come with any major decision.
Why is Confidence Important?
It’s important to understand that being confident positively impacts every area of your life – from family, relationships, and workplace. Here are the key reasons why it is beneficial to look at ways to continually boost one’s confidence.
- Personal growth
You may have missed a life changing opportunity because you didn’t believe in yourself. It could be a job, a promotion, or even a business opportunity. You see, when self-doubt creeps in, it hinders us from realizing our true potential.
- Confidence helps you learn from mistakes
We all experience setbacks in life. However, how you bounce back even after making a mistake determines how successful you become. Confidence helps you learn from your mistakes and move on with life.
- Confidence helps you move past anxiety
Worry and anxiety are part of life but with confidence, you can push through negative thoughts. Confident people don’t focus on worries and anxiety. Instead, confidence helps you focus on positive thoughts and emotions.
How Can I Boost My Confidence?
Do you feel like you lack confidence in certain situations and you just don’t know how to shift it? The good news is that you can learn to be confident. It may not happen overnight, but with practice, patience, and celebrating every little achievement, you can get there. Let’s look at some of the ways you can build confidence.
- Practice positive self-talk
Always remember that you are your biggest fan. This way, you’ll stop seeking affirmations from others. It is helpful to learn how to speak positive things whenever you have those little talks with your inner self. You can only become confident if you stop being too critical or using very harsh words on yourself.
- Reflect on your past achievements
If you continually dwell on your failures, it is extremely difficult to build confidence. However, if you reflect on your past accomplishments, you can easily boost your confidence. Your previous achievements should act as a constant reminder of how capable you are, and that you can tackle something new and challenging even though you lack experience with it.
No matter how big or small your achievement is, it counts if you’re trying to improve your self-esteem. For instance, if you’ve managed to get to work early that past week, that’s a win. If you gained courage to make a presentation in the boardroom, that’s also a reason to celebrate.
- Accept your emotions
Being confident doesn’t mean that you don’t get worried or you don’t experience anxiety. Instead, it means accepting that these emotions exist and also learning how not to dwell on them. Remember, we said that confidence helps us accept different types of emotions.
For instance, you may have approached a boss in your previous workplace regarding salary increase but your request got turned down. It doesn’t mean that you cannot approach your new boss with a similar request. Reflect on how the previous experience made you feel and also work on ways of moving past that. This could be your long awaited breakthrough if only you could raise your concerns regarding salary with your boss.
I usually ask my clients questions like “What might be a completely different possible outcome?” or, “what did you learn in that prior situation that could serve you well in this one? What do you need to think, do, say, believe, to have the outcome you want?” And one of my favorite questions is having them consider “What is the worst case scenario?” and then having them explore that to help them see that most scenarios can be recovered from.
- Hone your innate skills
Are you a talented writer, public speaker, strategic thinker, or story teller? You can start by improving your skills. You see, when you improve your skills, it improves your confidence and also gives you a challenge to become better at what you love doing. This could mean taking classes and if you have self-doubt, this is where you engage a coach to give you the push that you really need.
- Practice makes perfect
Do you have cold shivers running through your spine at the thought of speaking in public? Practicing what you don’t feel confident about helps you do it eventually. As a coach, I always encourage people to practice, but in a safe and supportive environment.
In my coaching career, one of the areas that I help clients is to develop confidence in public speaking. I practice with them by asking them to present a portion of their content to me in a private setup as I record. We then review the recording together by focusing on the areas they performed well. Then, I highlight the areas they need to improve.
I will then ask the client to practice the presentation over and over until they feel confident enough. Repetition heightens awareness and self-confidence.
- Work with a coach
Moving past obstacles is intimidating for most people and so is personal growth. At times you just need someone to give you that push to get things done. You could be struggling to change your career, or stuck in fear about making the decision to start a business. A coach can help you boost your confidence when making a life changing decision. Many of the most successful people across all industries have hired coaches to help them take their confidence and performance to the next level.
The Bottom Line
People aren’t born confident, it is gained over time. It all depends on how you approach obstacles in life. With practice, patience, and working with a coach, you can realize that positive outcome you’ve been dreaming of achieving. You just need a small push past the fear and doubt.